Funny jack off stories

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What is your best/worst jerk off story? : AskReddit

Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a [fapping] hand has come out and taken yours. So read on with that in mind: Every one of these stories is exactly why we, as humans, took over planet earth. It ended with security outside the stall trying to get him out and he yelled 'I'm not getting out until I finish. Those of you who have been in this position know this is already a bad idea. Being the pyromaniac I was at fourteen, I also knew that when lighting hand sanitizer on fire on your hand, it burned slowly and not as hot.
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27 People Reveal Their Most Pathetic Masturbation Stories

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No tourists, not a soul, just miles of beach. I walk 30 mins down the shore for some alone time, climb up a sand dune and sit down to start my business facing the epic horizon. About 30 people from the local village, mostly teens but also women and kids, are standing in a group just staring at me. All burst into peals of laughter when they see my face. I just bolt, trying to outrun the shame, but the village kids are running alongside up on the dunes, and they have no trouble keeping pace, just pissing themselves laughing and doing wank gestures.
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